I'm a junior and I have very close friends.
I'm the quiet girl that practically talks to no one. Only very few people. No more than 7 people I actually talk to. But that's only at school. When I'm home I get no texts unless someone wants something or I message that person first. I sit either in the living room alone, or lay in my bedroom. All I do is listen to music and go on social websites just looking at pointless posts that rant about stupid shit like the sale at a store or they're going to a movie. Don't get me wrong, I do that stuff too... but not as much as others.
Anyway... my home life isn't as peachy as my life at school. I envy school. At home I get bitched at for pointless reasons. The yelling fills my head for hours at a time and I can't even think straight.
My music and my blade make my life feel complete. I've been depressed since my sophomore year. That's when I got new "friends". Friends that changed me almost completely. I wasn't always like I am today.
I was the girl who got good grades, was easy to talk to, had many friends, and was actually "nice" to people. Now... I get C's to even F''s. I have an anger problem. I have very few friends. And I'm a bitch to people. I smoke... drink... and self harm.... I'm not proud of these changes. I want to just start over. Every little thing I've done "wrong" I want to take it back and make it right. Say no to the offers, not give in peer pressure. But that wouldn't had change me hitting depression. Wouldn't had change me from sliding the blade across my wrists and thighs.
Funny thing is... the reason I started to smoke, drink, and get in trouble even... is because of one person. One person made me a bitch. One person made me addicted to drugs and alcohol. And weirdly... that person does that to me... and then decides to change themselves. Decides to stop drugs and alcohol. What the fuck?
But anyways. I just want my old life back. I want to start over and not do the things that I shouldn't had. My life sucks but I won't let that get the best of me...
I'm the quiet girl that practically talks to no one. Only very few people. No more than 7 people I actually talk to. But that's only at school. When I'm home I get no texts unless someone wants something or I message that person first. I sit either in the living room alone, or lay in my bedroom. All I do is listen to music and go on social websites just looking at pointless posts that rant about stupid shit like the sale at a store or they're going to a movie. Don't get me wrong, I do that stuff too... but not as much as others.
Anyway... my home life isn't as peachy as my life at school. I envy school. At home I get bitched at for pointless reasons. The yelling fills my head for hours at a time and I can't even think straight.
My music and my blade make my life feel complete. I've been depressed since my sophomore year. That's when I got new "friends". Friends that changed me almost completely. I wasn't always like I am today.
I was the girl who got good grades, was easy to talk to, had many friends, and was actually "nice" to people. Now... I get C's to even F''s. I have an anger problem. I have very few friends. And I'm a bitch to people. I smoke... drink... and self harm.... I'm not proud of these changes. I want to just start over. Every little thing I've done "wrong" I want to take it back and make it right. Say no to the offers, not give in peer pressure. But that wouldn't had change me hitting depression. Wouldn't had change me from sliding the blade across my wrists and thighs.
Funny thing is... the reason I started to smoke, drink, and get in trouble even... is because of one person. One person made me a bitch. One person made me addicted to drugs and alcohol. And weirdly... that person does that to me... and then decides to change themselves. Decides to stop drugs and alcohol. What the fuck?
But anyways. I just want my old life back. I want to start over and not do the things that I shouldn't had. My life sucks but I won't let that get the best of me...
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