The Suffering Pain

I don't want us to have our final good-bye yet. I don't want a final good-bye at all. You're one of the most important people in my life. You're one of the ones that keeps me here, here around everyone. Without you I might not be. I seriously can not picture my life without you in it. The pain that you caused me over the years hurt me, but the pain that you just caused just killed me. When you sent me that message... my heart stopped which seemed like forever. I couldn't breath, I couldn't think. What you said... I can't even bring together the right words for how I felt. I cried and cried. And I'm still crying. I don't know how someone so sweet could make someone feel so miserable. 

I'm a girl. I get jealous. I get emotional. I'm probably going to be the most emotional girl that you will ever meet. I over-think everything. I don't fully think things through because I've been treated like a second choice my whole life and I'm sick and tired of it, I don't give my brain to process things. I over-think of what could happen if I lost you. My life is falling apart piece by piece now. 

I've lost you... I don't think I can fix it this time... I know I need to move on... I've tried and tried many times. I just can't. I'm going to try again and again till... till my feelings for you... are gone. I'm sorry for the damage I brought you. I'm sorry for over-reacting to things that are probably the simplest things. 

...I guess this is... our... final... good-bye... 

~ I'm sorry ~ Hopefully things will get better as we say these good-byes... ~
                                                  ~ dropdead ravennn ~